LHC to search for elusive particles. maybe it can find Greg too?

Tomorrow, the Large Hadron Collider will be turned on at CERN for the first time. It has spent the past few weeks being cooled to liquid helium temperatures. Soon, beams of protons will start to be accelerated to speeds only fractionally less than the speed of light.
Some worry that the LHC will create black holes or strangelet goo that will destroy the Earth, however they are either stupid, don't know what they're talking about or lying.
The LHC should allow us to hunt for the elusive Higgs boson, the so-called "god particle" that may be responsible for the phenomenon of mass.
We here at Greg-watch are used to searching for elusive things, so perhaps we could collaborate with the scientists at CERN and together, in the spirit of international cooperation, we can figure just exactly where he is?

The Plot Thickens (So thick we can hardly stir it any more)

You see, yesterday our subject gave every impression of being ill. It did not come in to the nest and it communicated this fact to its colleagues. And we were willing to believe it. This creature may be a master of deception and subterfuge but we were willing to believe its story just this once.
So, imagine our surprise when, today, having assumed the Gregory is unwell again, we were asked by another observer just where precisely the Gregory is right now? You see, this particular observer, shares the same home as our subject so, surely, if he was indeed ill today, he would be there convalescing.

The plot thickens mightily.

The Gregory Survives, but for how much longer?

The subject was last observed by one of our observers shortly after lunch-time. It is now 4pm and we suspect that the "coffee" it went for with some of its social group has metamorphosed into a "day off." We at Greg-Watch understand that out subject finds life in the nest fairly stressful, although it is adept at concealing such weakness from predators. At present, he is simply adept at being somewhere else.
Attempts have been made at locating the subject using microwave tracking systems but to no avail. It would seem that he definitely does not want to be found. Of course, we will relocate him one day, but will we get there first?

This May Be Our Last Sighting

We here at Greg-Watch are currently very fearful for the safety of our subject. He was last seen exiting stage-left pursued by Supervisor. These near-apex predators are renowned for their ability to reduce even the hardiest species to gibbering wrecks. As such, they are fearless and we must take care not to disturb them during the course of our observations.
Whether the lesser-spotted Gregory survives his encounter with the Supervisor remains to be seen. We are, of course, hopeful that he will evade capture once again so that we may continue to live in awe of this majestic, if extremely transient, creature.

Just Where is He?

We were quite certain that our subject was supposed to be busy this afternoon but we can see no sign of him. All that we can observe from our secluded location is some token evidence (pens, papers etc.) presumably intended to suggest his presence where none exists.
Day by day we expand our knowledge of the myriad behaviours of the lesser-spotted Gregory. We had not thought it capable of subterfuge and yet, once again, we are surprised.
What wonders will he reveal to us in the coming days and weeks?

Assuming we see him, of course.

Migratory Patterns

The Gregory has flown south for the Spring, several days ahead of its expected migratory routine. At risk of sounding alarmist, we think this might be another piece of evidence for climate change. We expect it to spend only a short time in the warmer southern climes, possibly playing Grand Theft Auto 4, although that is pure speculation on our part.
The departure of the lesser spotted Gregory has come as a surprise to those higher up the food chain who traditionally rely on it as a source of data. It may take some days for the chain to re-stabilise. In the mean time, other inhabitants of its range must be on their guard for unexpected repercussions of its early departure.

Wednesday 23 April, About Lunch Time

After a week away at crypto-zoology conferences we return to the nest site and observe that, in our absence, the Gregory has returned to the nest, leaving its characteristic plumage as evidence of its presence.
We can say for sure that it was not in the nest this morning but other than that we can only speculate as to its current whereabouts. Most likely it is feeding at one of its watering holes. When we know more, you can be assured you will be the first to know.

Accounts from witnesses who visited the nest during our week of absence suggest that it was here for at least some of the time. However, we are becoming increasingly sure that the Gregory, being partially nocturnal does not emerge until late in the morning or early afternoon.

Home on the Range

Other studies necessitated leaving the hide unoccupied for a whole day yesterday. However, intrepid field reporters tell us that the Gregory visited the nest several times during the course of the day, from around 11am onwards. It is hard to know for what purposes it leaves the nest site, aside from the usual biological functions. (These creatures to enjoy savouring their meals over long periods)

Today has brought some very exciting news though! We believe we have located the den to which the Gregory retreats to eat. Careful not to make our presence known - lest we spook this timid beast - we observed it for more than a whole lunch-time as it fed from what appeared to be a £2.95 pizza. Presumably it has developed the ability to function within the human market-economy, which is a major development.

Sadly, our alloted field-observation period came to an end and we had to leave it chewing thoughtfully, not a care in the world. Presumably it doesn't have any pressing impingements on its time. Oh how we envy its carefree, savage ways.

Peaceful Repose

The subject is now adrift on a sea of information, having become adept at navigating the electronic habitat of the internet. Many a happy hour is passed simply browsing this verdant meadow of irrelevant information.
It has even calmed down sufficiently that we can get up close without disturbing its meanderings. That it would share its office with us is a great privilege indeed.

A Sighting

This is what it is all about. A genuine sighting of this majestic creature in its natural (if temporary) habitat. It brings a tear to the eye to see. And then, as swiftly as it arrives, it is off again to lie-low in labs until the end of the day.

In the brief time it was here, the nest has been tidied, every pen and notebook back in its proper place. Next time we may attempt to tag it so that we may track the mysterious migrations of this elusive creature. Like the Hump-backed whale, no scientist truly knows where the Gregory travels on its wanderings.

2pm and Still no Sign

It's been several hours since our last report and still no sign of Gregorius Absenticus. The hide was abandoned for an hour to sate our hunger. If the Greg has been eating, it certainly hasn't been doing it here. The pens we left deliberately out of alignment have not been replaced while we ate, suggesting minimal or no activity around the nest.

This is concerning, since even it's generally nocturnal habits allow for arrivals as early as lunch-time. Perhaps it has caught the particularly virulent strain of sleeping sickness that regularly afflicts the population.

Monday, 14th April 2008. Still no Sign.

None of our spotters have yet seen a Gregory in the vicinity of the office. Rest assured, gentle reader, that we will report such a momentous happening as soon as we have any information.

The desk remains bare, with little evidence of foraging or social activity. Some might say, too bare...